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I spent our second anniversary in the hospital having our son... I watched as my husband became a Dad and as much as he feared breaking or dropping our son, he took him and it was a great thing to watch... All of the things that he didn't understand with the girls, he started to learn... Life would be different... We soon decided to move to Seattle. The support structure was out there for a family like us, well, at least there was support for the significant others (SO's) and for the transsexuals themselves... The girls (mine from my previous marriage) were another matter all together. Nobody seemed to have groups for them to talk to other kids their ages... I looked for years, and never did find the resources I so desperately wanted for them. I talked to them as much as they wanted to talk, and even when they didn't. I tried to help them understand the reactions I received when I was a kid, and was glad that the other parents did not have the same reaction of not wanting their kids to play with mine. I made one VERY good friend and we would each do sleep-overs... Neither of us had family in town so it was an awesome deal... From the beginning, I felt like I could trust her, and she was the first to know about our 'familial situation'.
In September 2000, we moved to Seattle. Within 3 months of moving to Seattle, my spouse changed her name, and started living part time. Within another 3 months she was living full time and had a new job. By the following September she moved into an apartment across the way and we were separated, I was devastated. I had the perfect life, the house, the yard, the kids, the husband. I lost it all... The next two years were hell between bitter jealousy and fights... The thing we were able to do was keep our differences away from the kids.
Out of all of this, you would think that most people would go running into the streets, hoping to be hit by a bus. When I told my mother, she told me to come home, and start over again... to just leave... She'd already been through it and it killed her to see me going through it and knowing what I was in for and she still hates Wendy for doing this to me and the kids. When my sister-in-law was told, she told me to take the baby and run, don't even look back. Me, I want others to understand, and to be able to live with families like mine who are different. Would you let your kids play with my kids because my kids have two Moms? Would you make the automatic assumption that the two moms are lesbians? Would you bother to talk to me after you heard about my family? Would you bother letting your kids play with my kids? Would you be closed minded about it? Or would you want to know why, and want to understand why our family is different? Would you ask the questions, or be too embarrassed?
For those who are very religious, and have the wonderful WWJD, or the "Teach a man to fish" fish emblem on their cars, can you tell me, "What Would Jesus Do?".... Right now, I do believe I'm teaching not one, but many to fish, so that they might be able to feed themselves knowledge for many years to come...
Thank you in advance for your time.
Copyright © 2004 Genderology.org All Rights Reserved.
Published on: 2004-11-09