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{amazon id=1560255153}While looking at the mechanism of gender identity dysphoria through a crossdressers' eyes may prove useful, one of the values of Boyd's work is that seeing it from a partners' perspective provides a counterbalanced, completely different and perhaps more objective point of view. Boyd writes about one particular key factor that appears to be prevalent in transgendered marital relationships, appearing to be related to shame-an element of "deceit" that frequently extends itself back before the marriage began. Crossdressing husbands may see a way out of their dilemma by purging themselves from their generally oppressive, unwelcome, and perhaps titillating fantasy. The husband-to-be, apparently smitten by his feelings of love and the prospect of a relationship that will, he hopes, extract him from his unwanted gender dilemma, may unwittingly delude both himself and his partner by incorporating the defense mechanisms of rationalization, denial, dissociation and/or repression.